One More Time

Listening to: Dream Field by David Lanz

Sometimes, I have these moments of realization. After drenching myself in a deluge of apprehension, I'm going to generalize the statement I just made - I think we all have those 'moments of realization' in our lives, at some point or the other, maybe even multiple moments. I think you might know what I'm talking about.

I think I had two such moments in the past four hours. It's a beautiful feeling and one of great amazement as well. I felt as if Time had stood still for a short second and was revealing some of its magic to me, it felt like this magic was something I was waiting for. I'm out of words when it comes to describing those moments. I won't exactly reveal what those realizations actually were, they are something I choose to keep close to my heart until the time comes for me to actually utilize some of that wisdom I gained from them realizations.

One of them, one of the more recent realizations, which made me leap off my bed, leaving my textbooks staring after me, and log in to my blog to type this out, although not entirely life-altering (but definitely so in some way), was positively something that has made me ingest an extra pinch of wisdom. I feel like I've grown so much more spiritually in that one moment. I feel like I'm standing on two more responsible feet that will take me where I really need to be moving towards; that one moment just stole away another one of those thick masks that blind my eyes to my Purpose.

How inexplicably amazing are those moments that bring to you the gifts of realization on their beautifully-ornamented gold trays!

I was just leafing through the rather wordy pages of my journal the other day, I was actually amused at some of the things I had written in those pages. For a moment, I couldn't believe it was actually ME who actually wrote some of those lines. I remember feeling so serious about the content of some of those entries while I sat and wrote them when I did, but now all that seriousness feels betrayed by my laughter at the younger me. But, one thing I still feel whenever I write in my journal is this unique sense of liberation, I feel like everything that I fear sharing with anyone or even fear admitting to my own self, just cascade from my head to my fingers and onto the crisp, white paper in a matter of no time at all. My pre-entry mindset is all about excitement and I literally feel like the words are going to burst out of me if they do not stain those inches of paper.

On certain occasions, I never realize how carried away I get with myself, I'm perpetually trying to figure out answers to matters that I know are not of immediate importance. The funniest part is that, at times, I do not realize how deeply embedded some trivial (occasionally, not so trivial!) matters are in my head, and I know so because they come to me in my dreams; and usually, I wake up the next morning thinking, wow, am I actually really thinking about (the matter) so seriously that it should stay in my subconcious?!

The human mind is interestingly mysterious alright, muy misterioso!